my journey into freedom - season 1

posted by Jan on


so i have decided to finally get my freedom. i have been tied down for almost 4 years now. i just thought i couldn't take it anymore. my life became so limited when i decided i would do it. for the sake of my kids i'd been keeping on. for their sake i did it. i wanted to give them the best of me and from me. i have sacrificed a lot of things because of it. now i think is the best time to stop and break free. it's good while it's good and i enjoy it. but when i no longer enjoy it, it's a different story altogether. so i better consider moving on.

day 1:
  1. i bought marmite. i got this idea from friends in church who had the same experience i am having now. i thought of using the Filipino traditional way of using red chili, but i thought it's too cruel to do that. so i wanted to try marmite. it might work it might not. i just wanna give it a try.
  2. have i told you i wanted to break free from breastfeeding? oh yes, i wanna wean off samantha from breastmilk so yesterday, i tried putting the marmite on the "milk machine." it was a total turn off for her.
  3. gave samantha extra hugs and extra attention as she was confused of what has been going on. she wanted to drink milk from me and yet she couldn't take the smell of the marmite. in fact, she was throwing tantrums already - as expected. i have to harden my "mother's heart" a little bit.
  4. went to see doctor for prescription to supress lactation. i actually used bromocryptine to supress the production of milk supply last time when i weaned my boy from breastmilk. a doctore friend gave it to me. but this friend won't be available because he's in a conference. so i tried getting bromocryptine off the counter. but looked like i needed a doctor's prescription to do that. so i went to see doctor and he prescribed me another pill.
  5. but the doctor said i should wait for another day or two and see whether i'd be so engorged. you know when you're engorged it's so painful it's like you're carrying the whole world on your shoulder. so i waited. i didn't get the pill. and i regretted it.
  6. i had to carry samantha to sleep. i usually put her to sleep when she's drinking milk from me. and since she didn't want to take my nipple in because of the marmite, she was crying so much. I had to rock her off to sleep.
  7. we all slept early coz i was feeling a bit of pain in my breast already. i also couldn't open my eyes more. i was feeling like my head was foggy and my eyelids heavy. but i woke up in the middle of the night feeling the pain. so i tried expressing the milk a little bit. but it didn't work because after a few minutes, i would feel the pain again.
  8. samantha woke up also, wanting to drink milk. and you know what this mother did? cleaned off the nipples and offered samantha a drink! LOL! i just couldn't take the pain. i also couldn't sleep because of the pain.
  9. i actually offered her milk twice. one at 3:00 am and one at 5:30am. my... i felt much relieved.
So there goes my journey into freedom - season 1. watch out for season 2!

my breastfeeding journey with samantha started like this: you may click the image below.

Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker


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