Values to Teach

posted by Jan on ,

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What values do we wanna teach our kids? There are acceptable values and not so acceptable ones, I know. Coming from a cross-cultural marriage in a multi-cultural society, teaching which values is quite complicated and confusing. You know... some values can be accepted in the society where I came from... but not acceptable in a society where I live with now.

I have a lot of instances that make me stand on my own values and teach my kids about it. An example, I called my son's name one day. He answered me back and simply said Ho? (that Ho which was coming from the nose). I quickly told him not to answer me like that again. You know what he said... but so-and-so does that too. So I told him... it may be okay for them to say that... but not to me.

There are a lot of values that I find that are very good ones though. Values which I would readily embrace. Not because I forget my own values... but those are good to be kept. In an Indian society, if a daughter-in-law sits in front of her parents-in-law cross-legged, she would be considered disrespectful and acting superior. I did that a lot of times. And when my mother-in-law pointed that one out to me (she's very good in pointing out my mistakes, actually)... I was surprised. I had been doing that for a long time and had been, in their own perception, disrespectful. Once I got that, I became very careful in what I do. It's not because they want me to act like a servant... they just want respect. Is that a good value or bad? Can I embrace it? Sure! I live in their society. I should change some things to fit in.

Some values can really be bad. But I'm not gonna talk about it now. But some values which were not taught in my society can be acceptable to me which can create harmony among my family now. Why would I throw it away?

Some values that are even found in the Bible are not even acceptable in my society... like when men meet other men... Bible would say to kiss each other on the cheek. Do that in the Philippines... or even in Malaysia... or even in Thailand... or even in the USA, in fact... and people would think one is a gay! And that's even a stumbling block for others.

So whatever values we wanna keep and teach our kids... we only know what's good to keep and what's to trash away. That's why we cannot question other people why people do this and why people do that. If they do wrong things... and they know they're wrong, then they're accountable and responsible for it.

Like what I always say... it's within our hearts. God sees the hearts. We may do good values but we judge other people because they don't follow our values... then it's the same story. God is the ultimate judge. So only He can judge. And the good news is... God doesn't judge by what we do... but what's inside our hearts when we do it.

So what values do I want to teach my kids? The values that I know which would please my God.